Ever since high school I have always had male friends, and ever since high school I have been accused of being in love with them.  Granted, this was not always completely off base, but generally it was assumed that if I spent any time with a member of the opposite sex I must have romantic feelings for them.  Needless to say, it got (gets) very frustrating constantly deferring endless queries about my romantic involvement with platonic male friends, especially when they are coming at me from all angles.  Friends, parents, siblings, even extended family.  You don’t even live in the same state as me and have no idea who this person is!  How are you so convinced I am in love with him?  Hell, my dad still gives me grief to this day about one of my high school guy friends. 

So, this begs the question: Can men and women be just friends?

Personally, I believe that they can be.  I also believe that a friendship can evolve and grow into something more, but not always, and not necessarily for both people at the same time (life’s a bitch, eh?).  Transitioning from a friendship to a relationship can in some ways be easier.  You already know a lot about each other and how you get along, and there’s a certain comfort level already in place that might take more time to develop otherwise. 

Then of course you come across the issue of “not ruining the friendship.”  This is a tried and true method of letting someone down “easy” when you don’t share their feelings.  It doesn’t feel good to hear it (trust me) and in my opinion it’s kind of a cop-out.  If you don’t have feelings for me, just tell me.  I can take it-I wouldn’t be out on a limb expressing my own feelings if I couldn’t.  It just seems kind of like b.s. because if you did have feelings for me, you probably wouldn’t be ignoring them just for the sake of our friendship, now would you?  No. 

If both parties feel the same way, more often than not I think it’s worth giving it a go.  If your friendship was really that strong to begin with, it will probably increase the odds that your relationship will be as well, and decrease the chance of you hating each other when it ends.  Plus, is knowing that you both feel it and not trying it really that much better than trying and it not working out?

If you are a friend of mine that happens to be male, be aware that the following statements are guaranteed to be true:
1. My family assumes that I am in love with you.
2. I have been asked no less than 3 times one or more of the following questions: If we are dating, if you are “special” to me, or “what’s going on with you and so-and-so?” 
3. My grandmother loves you and has used the word “adorable” to describe you in some way. 

My apologies.  I live in fear of ever actually dating one of my guy friends, because I can only imagine the caliber of those I told you so’s.